Pause-ativity: How to Climb Out of Anxiety and into Genuine Purpose

Intentional Slowing Down

For the last year or so, I’ve been trying to pause more. Meditating, walking 10,000 steps a day, breathing intentionally, reading more, observing the lake, the ocean, walking in nature, weeding, taking naps, planning more time with friends, and mastering the fine art that is the air-fryer.

In the mornings, I’ve done more stretching, extended my gratitude practice, listened to more books on tape, taken and planned more vacations, and made some new friends.

I stopped following the news and I only check one of the reading services once a day unless there’s an emergency that breaks through—like the recent earthquake in New York City. I bought a small boat for the local lake, tried to meet my neighbors more often, and made more donations to local social service groups than I have in the past. I also traded in my racing bike for a beach cruiser. This is emblematic of my change in attitude. I’m not trying to win races or improve my time trials anymore. I’m cruising up to the beach.

Finding Hope, Compassion, and Gratitude in Everyday Life

My meditations shifted from simply being mindful to feeling more connected to my source. I’m using more of the ancient Buddhist practice of tonglen to try to deal with all the suffering in the world. Because there is so much, I feel the only thing I can do to help is to offer compassion. Indeed, every whisper that I get back from the universe takes the form of being present, being grateful, being loving, being hopeful, and above all, having more compassion. 

I’ve taken a pause. And I’m calling it pause-ativity.

The pause is deliberate, intentional, cultivated, and authentic. I’m trying in each of these ways to figure out a little more of what it’s like to be me, with an emphasis on feeling whole. 

What Happened When I Paused

When I was just going and pushing and doing, I succeeded, but I didn't feel whole. At least I felt that I wouldn’t be whole until I achieved something or accomplished something. Instead, I decided to embrace the wholeness first and savor the feeling of being alive and conscious, connected to everything and everyone. But there were side effects. Unintended consequences of pause-ativity. Sleeping a little more, eating a little less, walking a little more, and stressing a little less, feeling peace a little more, and tuning out the news. 

As I got a little closer to my essence, I found an inner connection to an outer source. I no longer felt pushed. I felt guided, not shoved; nudged no longer pushed, but pulled. The energetic shift was an opening to move toward something rather than away, an opening and attraction, and affiliation rather than a repulsion generated by fear. Somehow, I went from getting something done to being in harmony with what was being done.

It feels like the intentional pause was the beginning of a shift in the type and use of energy for motivation. Rather than using depleting energy, the pause signaled a change to using renewable energy. The world seems to be moving away from using depleting energy sources such as coal, oil, and gas, toward renewable energies that are more efficient and abundant, like solar, wind, and water. Could it be that our psyche is doing the same? Instead of using fear as fuel for growth, perhaps love, compassion, and gratitude are the next generation replacements.

The Side Effects of Pausing

Back to the side effects. I would’ve been OK with and predicted less productivity and all that goes with that. But to my astonishment, the opposite is true; my productivity seems to have become more generative than at any other time in my life. To give you an idea, I typically averaged writing 200 words a day, which has now steadily averaged over 1000. I’d managed maybe two or three projects at once; now I’m fully engaged in five or six, all of which seem not to have suffered but instead flourished as I’ve added more. The unintended side effect of pause-ativity is joyful productivity. How in the world could this be? I’m sleeping a little deeper and a tad longer, but when I wake up, my energy level is as high as can be. What is happening here? How could it be that as I do less and less, I’m getting more and more done without feeling depleted? 

Bob Vallerand’s Harmonious Passion vs. Obsessive Passion

The psychologist, a friend, Bob Vallerand, has been studying this process for decades. He identified harmonious passion and obsessive passion. He’s created a dualistic model. Bob studied Olympic athletes, and it became clear to him that success demands passion. If you don’t have passion, success will not follow, but within that simple formula, he found there were two types of passion: obsessive and harmonious.

Obsessive passion is when the task is so great and demanding that your passion for doing what you love is driven by the doing of it. This phenomenon is typically compensating for something. The weakling who becomes a bodybuilder. The bad student who becomes a scholar. 

Think of a teenager passionate about a video game. He may not be able to socialize with others appropriately, so he immerses himself in the game. The game controls him. When your passion is obsessive, you’ll succeed, but there’s a cost. The Olympic athletes who pushed themselves were more likely to get hurt and didn’t win as much. When you have obsessive passion, the tendency is to win and lose. The video game addict gets isolated.

Unlike obsessive passion, harmonious passion results from an autonomous internalization of your work, meaning you freely choose to engage in it, and it generally brings more positive benefits to life overall. Instead of the thing you love to do owning you, you decide to do it, but you can also stop and do other things. You enjoy life more without sacrificing the other areas of your life. 

Harmonious Passion

When you're harmoniously passionate about your job, research shows a wealth of positive outcomes. You're likely to experience higher psychological well-being, increased vitality, and a greater sense of flow in your tasks. All this while also experiencing lower psychological distress.

It's not just about how you feel; it also impacts your performance. Studies suggest a strong link to greater job satisfaction, better job performance, and higher organizational citizenship behaviors. You are prosocial and more productive. There is much less wear and tear, and you might even have more control over your professional life and experience lower intentions to quit your job. 

Harmonious passion can even help achieve a better balance among work commitments, reducing off-task thoughts. In other words, you’re more focused when you can step away from what you love to do. People who are harmoniously passionate actually put in a little less time doing what they’re passionate about, but they work a little harder when they do.

Too much of a good thing, when not managed properly, can make you a tad of a workaholic. Ultimately, embracing harmonious passion can transform your work experience into something truly rewarding. Forget work-life balance. It’s all just balance. Do what you love, love what you do—and that includes taking a break.

How Pausing Reconnected Me to Purpose

As it happened for me, taking intentional breaks and pauses helped me arrive at harmonious passion rather than operating on obsessive passion. By taking more intentional pauses, conducting tasks more slowly, and savoring my experiences, I was actually able to reconnect with my purpose and joy of my work. By not rushing through life, I deepened my engagement and my love for the work I’m doing.

Now, I’m going to take a 20-minute nap.